Tuesday, March 31, 2020

Draupadi: The Wait Ends

The season of spring was coming to an end; each day, in the past fortnight, had been hotter than the last. But, that morning, a silent, cool breeze blew through the garden where Draupadi sat, contemplating a pair of bulbuls at play in the branches above. She felt a strange nervousness as she waited for the inevitable meeting. A day earlier, Arjuna had finally ridden into Indraprastha. She had only seen him from afar, as she stood on the roof of the palace and watched the Yadava host ride into the city.

It had been twelve years since she had last seen the man, who had actually won her hand, a lifetime ago. She had been as nervous on that day as well, as she watched from behind thin curtains, as princes and kings had tried their hand at shooting the eye of a fish that hung some thirty hands above them. As prince after prince, tried and failed, she had gasped silently, her heart in her throat, thundering like a galloping horse. Finally, when there was no one left, when the competitors were all spent, when the girls behind her, her friends and maids, whispered that the competition would start all over again until a winner was found, he had stood up. He had been sitting with the brahmanas attending the swayamvara; there had been no cause for her to believe that he was anything, but a Brahmana. She had thought, that he was some wise soul standing up to explain what to do in the condition that no prince had qualified for her hand. But, he had left her and the entire gathering stupefied as he walked up to the pedestal on which the trial bow was placed. Before anyone could even react, she had seen the flash of the strong arms raising the bow. For a moment, that would remain frozen in her hear forever, he had pulled the arrow down to his waist, bow raised in tension high above his head and the arrow had whizzed upward, his aim perfect, flawless.

The rest of the day had gone past in a blur. Even now, after all those years, she could not remember clearly the events that had passed. Her maids, had rushed her away from the enclosure where they had stood and watched, as the gathering descended into chaos behind her. She thought she would be rushed back to the palace, but her father had met her half-way. The wedding was clumsy, hurried; a priest had chanted a few hymns and she was perfunctorily handed over to Arjuna, like a cow being gifted to a Brahmana. Before she knew it, she walked behind him, his brothers on either side, through the narrow alleys of Kampilya. She had not understood what happened on that fateful evening; she would take several days to understand that she was wed not to one, but five men. But her heart was already taken by the young Brahmana. She had slept on her floor, as she had until the other fateful day of her life when Drupada had adopted her as his daughter. She had cried herself to sleep, because her dreams of marrying a prince, of palaces and handmaidens, and finery and pomp, had all come crashing down in thatd dingy, dusty hovel. But, the next day held more unforeseen surprises to come. The young Brahmana turned into a prince, and she was married to the famous and mighty sons of Pandu, taken for dead, almost forgotten.

Soon, they had left Kampilya for Hastinapura, and her eyes had grew wide at the sight of the city, twice as big as Kampilya, it’s mighty white walls mounted with the red banner of the Kurus, with its majestic black elephant. The days went by quickly, and they had travelled again. She had still not seen Arjuna after the swayamvara. They had reached Khandavaprastha, a wasteland on the far reaches of the Kuru kingdom, beyond the Yamuna, surrounded by foreboding woods, peopled by fisher folk and hunters. Here in this strange land, she was married again, finally with pomp, five times to the five brothers and the Narada had come and he had set the terms for the marriage; terms broken by Arjuna so soon. She had watched from the roof of the palace, as heart sobbed tears of grief as he had left the city on an exile of twelve years.
For close to three years, news had reached Khandavaprastha of Arjuna’s travels on his exile, as he went north to the source of the Ganga, as he had performed penance at Gangadwara, as he went east again until Mahendragiri. There, he had left behind the brahmanas who had accompanied him and travelled further east. The trail had run cold and Arjuna was not seen or heard of. By then, she had already borne her eldest son, Prativindhya, born of Yudhishtira. The years had passed and she had borne another child, and another, and the happiness and the frustrations, the anxieties and the bliss of maternity had made her forget her unrequited love for the youngest son of Pritha.

Then, suddenly one day, a rider had come from Dwaravati. Arjuna was with Krishna. He had survived, jungles and rivers, deserts and seas and reached Prabhasa where Krishna had met him. For Draupadi, the long lost feelings had returned in a surge of emotion. As she tended to her youngest son, Shrutasena on the maternal bed, she had remembered the forgotten past, and dreamt of a forgotten future.  She thought that Arjuna would rush back to Khandavaprastha, but the twelfth year was yet to be completed. And so, again the days dragged on, while more news of his adventures seeped in through the palace walls. Arjuna had been with a nagini; Arjuna had married five nubile maidens, far to the south, in an enchanted land by the southern ocean; Arjuna had begotten a child on an exotic princess, far to the east, in the mysterious mountain lands beyond Pragjyotisha; Arjuna had learnt the art of warfare at Mahendragiri from the great Rama, and pledged himself to a life of celibacy. And so, they reached her ears, rumours or truth, she knew not; but she waited for him. The rains stopped, and the seasons, followed, Sharad and Hemantha and Shishira, when the cold winds crept from the north and the fog of forgetfulness, once again crept upon her memories. Maybe, he would not come she thought.

But then, he had returned on the day before, with a thousand Yadavas behind him and a fair Yadavi in a beautiful palanquin. Subhadra had walked into the chamber of the queens, the night before, a shy girl, petite, yet womanly, shy and blushing. She had greeted Draupadi with respect and a hint of fear. Late in the night, Draupadi had looked at herself in the burnished copper mirror that hung on her wall, comparing herself to the young girl who had usurped the dashing Brahmana that she knew. Where Subhadra was fair, she was dark, her body bearing the signs of four children, her face starting to show her age, the thin lines at the corners of her eyes; her palms, once soft as the down of swans, now lined deeply; her once tender arms, now sinewy with years of carrying her children. Why, she thought, would Arjuna remember her now? Maybe she was consigned to be Yudhishtira’s chief consort, the Mahishi, the Maharani, wife to a great king, and mother to a great king, but not the woman of her man’s heart.

Footsteps, broke her reveries and she turned around.

Arjuna came to her, as time slowed down in her mind and sat down beside her.

She looked at him. He had changed; the youthful face that she remembered, was lined and freckled now, darkened by years of harsh seasons. When he had left her, his tight curls had been short; now they had grown into a thick mass of brown, which he had tied back. His arms were scarred more than she could remember and his body and face had aged so much, that he looked older than both Bhima and Yudhishtira. But, as he looked at her, she saw that his eyes were just as clear as she had once seen them, set close together, beneath deep brows, a dark brown ocean of determination and calm.

“Well,” he said. “You haven’t changed much.”

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